All Saints Day - Who is Your Saint Fave?

When researching saints for my book Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos, (shameless plug!) I discovered a bad-ass set of saint twins: Zenobios and Zenobia. Because I'm a twin, and the mother of twins, I thought I knew thing or two about pain and suffering. That is, until I discovered these Holy Martyr siblings and learned of their persecution:

      A third-century bishop, St. Zenobios, was arrested in a persecution roundup. He was hung from a trestle as his body was dismembered—while he was alive and kicking. Well, maybe alive and squirming. But, there he was, minding his own pain-laced business when along comes his twin sister, Zenobia. That gal was gunning to out-suffer her. Not letting her brother get a jump on her fifteen minutes of fame, Zenobia charged his captors and demanded they toss her a torture nugget. Not to refuse an angry Greek woman, persecutors complied. No torture nugget for Zenobia. They threw her a boulder.

 First, captors forced Zenobia to lie on an iron bed covered in burning coals. You won’t find one of those at Sears. Then, for good measure, they lowered her into a vat of boiling tar. Boy, was Zenobios pissed at Zenobia for stealing his agony points. Granted, he already earned more than his fair share, just by wandering around his village.

 “Little Zenobia, fetch me water from the cistern.”

 “I’m Zenobios. Zenobia is my sister.”

 “Zenobia, Zenobios. Whatever. Just bring the water. And stop with the matching tunics.”

Zenobios and Zenobia weren't the only ones tortured into wearing matching tunics.