Great Inexpensive Christmas Gift - Signed Copy of Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos

Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos

Order by Dec. 5 and Receive Autographed Copy Before Christmas

               Houston, Nov. 5, 2017 -- Kingwood humorist and author Danielle Schaaf has launched a new book, Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos; Catholics Believe the Darndest Things. The book is an entertaining and informative look at Catholicism that will have readers, Catholic or not, snorting holy water out of their noses. Order by Dec. 5 and receive a signed copy from Schaaf in time for Christmas. Cost is $10 per book and order by emailing Schaaf at nunstories@yahoo.com.

About The Book

 “Code Dahmer, register seven.”

One minute, the cashier compliments you on your necklace, and the next thing you know, store security drags you out the door. All because you proudly confided to her that your necklace contained a bone chip from a man tortured and murdered centuries ago. Well…Jeffry Dahmer DID tell police the same thing.   

Okay, this didn’t happen, but it’s exactly how Cradle Catholic Danielle Schaaf feels when she describes her religious upbringing. Even though there are a billion Catholics in the world, many of their tenets and traditions remain a mystery—even to themselves. Questions abound, and some, like, “Why is there dirt on your forehead?” are easy enough for Schaaf to explain. “They’re ashes. No, not Uncle Sal’s.”  

When questions get tough and test Schaaf’s theological mettle, like “Do nuns go commando under their habits?” she turns to the pros: nuns themselves. These days, nuns are harder to locate than gluten-free donuts. All anyone can say is, “Witness Protection Program.” Not being able to find any sisters, Schaaf instead created her own, truncated version of Catholic Catechism. Why not? She’s often mistaken for a nun and never misses a rerun of The Flying Nun.

 Snarky humor, warped nostalgia, and reverently irreverent musings grace the pages of Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos. Blending lessons from nuns of yesteryear with pop culture, sports, and reality TV imagery, topics include

Crips or Crusaders: Can you spot a Catholic?

“Vatican’s Got Saints” reality TV competition

Exorcisms, apparitions, Jesus in Cheetos, and other leaps of faith

Kneeling, Genuflection Lunges, and Sweating to the Oldies

Little Debbie Saint-Naming Rebellion

Catholic Home Décor: bathtub shrines and saintly garden gnomes  

Schaaf is coauthor of Don’t Chew Jesus! and creator of Haute Flash Contessa humor columns and comedy shows. Her books are available at amazon.com Contact Danielle Schaaf, nunstories@yahoo.com; P.O. Box 6555, Kingwood, TX 77339, for more information.

###