We Catholics believe and practice the darndest things. With Astros down to the wire in game 7, we're pulling out all stops. For example, parishioners at Annunciation Catholic Church right next to Minute Maid Park are selling handmade rosaries with orange and navy blue beads.
A beautiful type of prayer we often invoke is a Litany. Litanies are poetic, responsive prayers offered up for special intentions, such as
Litany of Divine Praises.
Litanies can be
recited anywhere and are particularly popular last-ditch invocations. Stuck in
traffic? Try the Litany of Divine Mercy. Your recipe for pizza-dough-wrapped
pickles has been named a finalist in the Pillsbury Bake-Off? Time to settle in
with the Litany of Humility. And for teens coming home two hours after curfew and
seeing Dad in the driveway? Rattle off the Litany for a Happy Death, naturally.
How a Litany to Astros? I created two, which are not sanctioned by the Church and will probably add a few hundred years to my stay in Purgatory. Note: if you don't know about Purgatory, check it out in my book,
Holy Bones, Limbo, and Jesus in My Cheetos.
Divine
Litany to Astros Batting Lineup
Jose Altuve,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Carlos Beltran,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Alex Bregman,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Carlos Correa,
For a winning spirit, divine grace, and a
slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Evan
Gattis,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Yuli Gurriel,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Marwin Gonzalez,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Cameron Maybin,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Brian McCann,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Josh Reddick,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
George Springer,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Derek Fisher,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Juan Centeno,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and a slugging bat,
I pray you bring us an Astros win.
Divine
Litany to Astros Pitchers
Charlie Morton,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Lance McCullers, Jr.,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Collin McHugh,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Dallas Keuchel,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Brad Peacock,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Justin Verlander,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Ken Giles,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Francisco Liriano,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Joe Musgrove,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Chris Devenski,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Luke Gregerson,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.
Will Harris,
For a winning spirit, divine
grace, and immaculate innings,
I pray you bring us an Astros
win.